Report Card from Hell

Several years ago, I came back home with a letter from my school teacher. Imagine the pride and joy on my parents faces when they opened the letter and read:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Karia,

Akash's academic transcript is like a festival of F's. However, I am very proud of him. He works hard, and sooner or later - usually later - he ends up getting an answer. Unfortunately, it's sometimes - by which I mean always - not the correct one. 

While Akash struggles academically, I would love to say that sports is where he excels. But he does not. 

Regarding his acting talents, he does a very convincing impression of a cabbage. As for whatever singing talent he possesses, it remains hidden - which is how I would prefer it to stay. 

What worries me most is Akash's lack of memory (or, to put a positive spin on it, his surplus of forgetfulness).

Finally, I would like to say that Akash is a very likeable guy. I would like to say that. Unfortunately, many of the people whom he thinks are his friends find his face slightly frightening. 


Mrs. Beata 

P.S. I know that your son/daughter will make a brilliant career out of whatever s/he chooses. I don't know if that's really true. I just write that on every report card. 

P.S. True Story! In case you're wondering: this is EXACTLY like the report card I brought home, but just very different. Okay, fine, some of the parts - by which I mean all of the parts - are slightly (by which I mean extremely) exaggerated. Anyway, the point is - wait, what was the point again? I'll get back to you surplus of forgetfulness sometimes works against me.

About the Author:

Looks wise, this was the cutest I ever got. After this, everything went downhill...

Okay, so this picture isn't really of me! The point is, my parents never really took any pictures of me as a we just cut out some pictures from a magazine. My little sister, on the other hand, has so many pictures of her that you can flip through her photo-album and it's like one of those animations where she grows right in-front of you. 

Anyway, the point is - wait, you're still reading this? 

Copyright: Akash Karia
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