Why MOST Persuasion FAILS...

Imagine the following scenario:

You: "If you continue eating such unhealthy food, you're going to die an early death!"

The Reply: "My grandfather ate worse than I do, and he lived to be ninety-two!"

Now, lets have a look at what happened here.

You offered a logical argument, but your argument was shot down by the recipient. On a deeper level, the person you were trying to convince probably knows that you're right...he's not willing to take advice from you because that would mean admitting that he's living his life the wrong way and that is a painful thing to admit.

The reason that many such persuasion attempts fail is because we try and impose our views on the other person, such as:

"If you don't get good grades, you'll never get into college"

"Unless you get more organized, you'll be a failure"

"You're going to get fired unless you start working hard!"

While our views may be justifiable, they won't be accepted because it requires the other person to accept that you're right and he's wrong.

So what can we do in this case?

Luckily, we do have an option. Instead of force-feeding our views on the other person, we can instead ask them questions and get them to come to the same views themselves, such as:

"I'm curious. With grades like these, what do you think will happen to your plans for college?"

"Let's talk through this. If you continue to come late to work, what do you think will happen?"

"If you keep making plans for both of us without asking us first, how do you see our relationship going?"

The hope is that the person you're speaking with will realize the consequences of his actions and make genuine choice to improve. At the very least, the person will go away and think about the question you've just asked them and begin to formulate his answers in the privacy of his home.

Statements such as "You're setting yourself up for a heart attack unless you start exercising!" cause the other person to become defensive; Questions instead (when asked in a friendly tone) cause the other person to consider through the consequences and arrive at his own conclusions...

Key Take-Away:

Instead of force-feeding your opinions on other people, ask them questions instead which will cause them to think about the consequences of their actions. By asking questions, you're allowing the other person to come to his own conclusions and find his own motivation for change. 

So, how about this? Next time that you want to influence a positive change in someone else, instead of pointing out the consequences, ask a question which will cause the other person to take responsibility for his own life.

Article Inspiration:

The inspiration and idea from this article came from the book I'm currently reading, "Instant Influence" by Michael V Pantalon (Psychologist at Yale University)

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P.S. WOW! Thank you for the 240+ likes on www.public-speaking-hong-kong.

blogspot.com. Combined, all the articles have been shared close to 1,000 times!!!

Lean Forward to Look Lean

There are many simple, yet not common sense, tips for appearing on TV in the best light possible.  For example, you know that you should look comfortable and relaxed when you appear on TV; you don't want to look uptight.  But if you sit back and relax in a chair or couch on a TV set, you will look TERRIBLE.

If you sit back and relax, your head will be further away from the camera than your abdomen.  Unfortunately, the camera latches on to whatever is closest. If the camera is closer to your gut, it will magnify your stomach.  The result?  You will look 20-30 pounds heavier than you do in real life.  Even if you have six-pack abs, you will look as if you have a large tummy roll.  To make matters worse, you will look like you have a double chin, even if you've had more face-lifts than Michael Jackson.  So don't lean back in a couch or chair when you are on TV.

Your next option is to sit up perfectly straight, just like your mother taught you when you were in first grade.  In this case, your mom's advice won't work.  If you sit up perfectly straight while in front of a TV camera, you will look as stiff as a board, nervous, scared and highly uncomfortable.  Don't sit up perfectly straight either!

So where does this leave us?

The last - and best - option is to hold yourself up high and lean forward about 15 degrees toward the camera.  This will make you appear taller, thinner, younger and leaner, while accentuating your jaw line.  Because the camera latches on to whatever is closest, it will now give more prominence to your head and mouth, and less to any excess padding you may have below (a major plus for many well-fed business executives, myself included).

So for seated TV interviews, always lean forward about 15 degrees toward the camera. If you are standing, don't lean forward quite that much or you might fall over. Just make sure you don't stand up too rigidly straight, or you will appear nervous and stiff.

The final thing to remember about your body during a TV interview is to move slightly.  Don't remain stiff.  You don't want to move around in a quick, jerky fashion, but you do want to exhibit subtle, natural movement.  Occasionally move forward, backward and to the side 3 to 6 inches, just as you normally would when having an animated conversation with a friend.

By leaning forward and moving slightly in a full range, you will look your very best in every TV appearance.


Article by TJ Walker
from "Media Training A-Z"http://www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/mediatrainingaz.html


www.mediatrainingworldwide.com
212-764-4955

Seth Meyers Kills Donald Trump

Seth Meyers killed Donald Trump - so to speak. In case you missed Seth's speech at the White House Correspondent dinner, here's the best of the best:

• Donald Trump said that he was running for president as a Republican. That's funny, because I thought he was running as a joke.
  
  
• Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head. If you're at the Washington Post table with Trump and you can't finish your entree, don't worry, the fox will eat it.
  
  
• Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for vice president
  
  
• On the Royal Wedding: As I was watching the festivities I couldn't help thinking how wonderful it is to live in a country where people don't have to wear hats like that
  
  
• Just look at the options Republicans are kicking around: Palin. Huckabee. Gingrich. Trump. That doesn’t sound like a field of candidates -- that sounds like season 13 of Dancing With The Stars. And not the stars -- the dancers
  
  
• [Trump] said he's got a great relationship with 'the blacks'. Unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken.

 Watch Seth's speech here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YGITlxfT6s    Share

Report Card from Hell

Several years ago, I came back home with a letter from my school teacher. Imagine the pride and joy on my parents faces when they opened the letter and read:


Dear Mr. and Mrs. Karia,


Akash's academic transcript is like a festival of F's. However, I am very proud of him. He works hard, and sooner or later - usually later - he ends up getting an answer. Unfortunately, it's sometimes - by which I mean always - not the correct one. 


While Akash struggles academically, I would love to say that sports is where he excels. But he does not. 


Regarding his acting talents, he does a very convincing impression of a cabbage. As for whatever singing talent he possesses, it remains hidden - which is how I would prefer it to stay. 


What worries me most is Akash's lack of memory (or, to put a positive spin on it, his surplus of forgetfulness).


Finally, I would like to say that Akash is a very likeable guy. I would like to say that. Unfortunately, many of the people whom he thinks are his friends find his face slightly frightening. 


Best,


Mrs. Beata 


P.S. I know that your son/daughter will make a brilliant career out of whatever s/he chooses. I don't know if that's really true. I just write that on every report card. 




Note
P.S. True Story! In case you're wondering: this is EXACTLY like the report card I brought home, but just very different. Okay, fine, some of the parts - by which I mean all of the parts - are slightly (by which I mean extremely) exaggerated. Anyway, the point is - wait, what was the point again? I'll get back to you soon...my surplus of forgetfulness sometimes works against me.




About the Author:

Looks wise, this was the cutest I ever got. After this, everything went downhill...


Okay, so this picture isn't really of me! The point is, my parents never really took any pictures of me as a kid...so we just cut out some pictures from a magazine. My little sister, on the other hand, has so many pictures of her that you can flip through her photo-album and it's like one of those animations where she grows right in-front of you. 


Anyway, the point is - wait, you're still reading this? 


Copyright: Akash Karia
Yeah, I know, you're just dying, to reprint this aren't you? Aren't you? All right, all right, since you insist go ahead and share this Share

Find Your Core Message

    

When you first start preparing your presentation or speech, the most important thing you must do is to figure out the core message of your speech. What is the one thing that you are trying to achieve with the speech? Which one concept/idea do you want your listeners to understand and remember? Or, alternatively, what one single action do you want your listeners to take after they’ve heard your speech? 

·        Finding your core message is about forced prioritization. What’s the most important thing that you want to convey to the audience?

·        Write out your core message on a piece of paper in less than 20 words

·        Your core message will help you decide what to include and what to discard. If a story/statistic emphasizes the core message, include it; otherwise, save it for another speech

·        Ruthlessly cut out anything that is not directly related to the core message. You will have a highly focused speech which the audience will remember and thank you for. 

Bottom Line:

If your audience was to forget everything else that you said, what is the one single thing that you would want them to remember? Share